Greed
by Jackalsscalpel
Summary: Fruits BasketAdvent children cross over. Crack fic... all to see Reno in drag XP Some foul language.
1. Chapter 1

C Title: I ain't a dress up doll, yo!

LJ Author: pikapicokitt

Theme: fan/slash

Fandom: Fruits Basket/Advent Children

Pairing: Akito x Reno

Rating: PG-13 for the moment (foul language)

Disclaimer: I do not own either series and have no damned clue where this whole blurb of a crack fic game from…

Reno stared at Rude with a look that could kill, hands fisted at his side.

"I am NOT going through with this, yo"

His face twisted in anger when Rude snickered, the bitchy look going so well with the turks current attire.

"It looks good on you… let's finish the look off"

There was a bit of a struggle as Rude tried to snatch away the male's hair band, an atrocious act in Reno's mind.

"Don't even think about it! The hair's off limits, man"

The bulkier male shook his head, resorting to pinning the redhead down and extracting the tie from those fiery locks.

"It's gotta be down for this to work right. Stop complainin' so much"

Reno sulked, arms crossed in front of his fake bosom before he dropped them, clenching his fists. He had every intention of making Rude's life a living hell for this. Not only was his hair falling everywhere in an unwanted do, he was wearing a formal kimono; a FEMALE'S formal kimono. He socked Rude in the face when the man gave him a perverted grin, hiking up the ends of his attire and stomping off in a clownish fashion.

"Just think of the money you'll be earning if you can play it off!"

Rude snickered as his partner stalked off in the direction of the restaurant he was scheduled to be present at a dinner for. It was a crap job, he knew it, but if they could get the information needed they'd be a lot richer. All Reno had to do was make everyone believe he was a woman…that was harder said than done and Rude was positive he wouldn't last the night. Oh the mocking the flame-haired turk would receive when all was said and done then, Rude needed to remember to borrow a camera before the night was done.

They entered the diner, the maiden' and her escort there to entrance the head of a family business with the title _Sohma_. Reno scanned the room, intent on holding up his end of the bargain since he had been so unwillingly shoved into it. He repeated the amount of money in his head over and over, telling himself he could get through it all for the amount of money they'd be receiving. He sat down beside one of the other family heads, having met the man name Tashikawa earlier; Reno was there to be his daughter.

"Not bad… but you should have cut that obscene mullet of yours"

The elder man whispered to Reno who flared with inward anger. It wasn't bad enough his hair had been man handled; now he was being mocked for it's shape and told to cut it. There would be a stop to that; Reno was doing the old man a favor after all.

"You're lucky you got what you see, yo. Who'm I courtin' anyway?"

Tashikawa pointed to the glowering figure toward the middle of the table opposite of them, Reno's face twisting in confusion as he leaned back over toward the man.

"I thought the deal was to demoralize a dude, that's a chick ain't it?"

He frowned at the shake of the old man's head, turning his aqua eyes back toward the rather tiny form. He couldn't see how the petite creature he was staring at could be a male, not unless he was twelve; the fact the boy was wearing a men's suit meant nothing to Reno.

"You sure? I didn't sign up to mess with no child, man"

"I assure you, Akito-san is of age and male. He is seventeen and head of the Sohma estate"

"And the guys got a fortune at his disposal… and you want me to get him to propose a weddin'? I can't say I really see your logic, yo…"

Rude shook his head, having been listening the whole time and finally butted into their before dinner whispers of conversation.

"In high-class families it's important to produce heirs for the head positions…marriages are done through binding contract and if is daughter's name ends up on those papers they get a claim to the fortune, ya understand?"

Reno's mouth shaped an O and he nodded, his eyes turning back toward the feminine looking heir. Tashikawa had a real daughter, but she was in no shape to do the courting apparently from how the geezer talked. The bell for dinner sounded and the room grew quiet, it was now time for Reno to work his magic'.


	2. Chapter 2

C Title: Of Women & Men

LJ Author: pikapicokitt

Theme: fan/slash

Fandom: Fruits Basket/Advent Children

Pairing: Akito x Reno

Rating: PG-13 (Minor language)

Disclaimer: I do not own either series and have no damned clue where this whole blurb of a crack fic game from…

The lines across Reno's face showed aggravation, not having received a single chance to even introduce himself to the Sohma head yet. It seemed to him that this Akito wasn't much of a conversationalist to begin with, in fact, the tiny man looked as if he wanted to behead everyone in the room.

Tashikawa finally chimed in, his voice wavering as if he were terrified of the fact he was initiating conversation. Reno caught the dull stare from Akito as his name was called, giving his father' a look of general disgust.

"A-akito-san… I would like to introduce my daughter, Kimari"

"And for what purpose does she serve in this meeting?"

Akito waited for the elder man to answer her question and smirked when he was incapable of a decent come back.

"Women have no purpose here, please remember that next time when you want to bring one along"

Akito's tone and basic disgrace for the female species hit on a nerve within Reno, as well as the fact he had just been insulted. Rude's hand made contact with Reno's shoulder a little to late to calm his partner's rage and the redhead flew off the handle, standing and pointing at Akito in a dishonoring way.

"Hey! Watch it buddy, I know some damned intelligent women who wouldn't hesitate to beat you with that stick up yer ass!"

Reno paled when the realization of what he had just done hit him and the eyes staring at him in disbelief were consuming enough to make him sit down and lower his head in shame. There went his cover, the money, and whatever dignity he might have had left. One of the other family heads stood, attempting to defend Akito's honor in order to make his family look supportive.

"How dare you show such ignorance towa…."

"That's quite alright, I'll deal with this…woman…she only shows more my point on a woman's presence in the business realm is un-necessary. Tashikawa, perhaps you should teach your daughter about manners in the presence of hierarchy."

Reno crossed his arms, face squished in exasperation, making him look like some sort of transsexual whore.

"You're like a child on a throne"

The corner of Akito's eye twitched, Reno hitting a nerve and she was caught between remaining the dignified one, and beating him senseless with the teakettle before her. Kureno's cough beside her reigned in her sudden anger and her eyes shifted to the contact of his hand on her arm. Though her rage had been quelled she refused to let his comment slide or it would leave a nasty taste in her mouth where the words she wished to say lay dormant.

"I am not the one mocking someone of higher caliber at their own dinner. Even if I am just a man ruling blindly, you are still the dirt wedged between my shoe"

Rude's eyes widened, they were both taking this way too far and he knew that comment had to burn Reno's pride more than anything…. this had been quite the mistake. He leaned over, whispering in the flame-haired man's ear before he could speak.

"Look, we can leave, I was wrong to agree to this…"

Rude paled at his partner's expression, knowing that in Reno's mind the battle was on, they wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. The resilient turk straightened, smirk ridden face issuing the challenge before he'd even spoke.

"You can't tame all the weeds, some just pop up on you and never go away"

Akito pondered that statement for a second, feeling a little at a loss for how to respond to such a blatant attack on herself. She waved her hand for their food to be served, wanting the attentive eyes of all the room's occupants to be focused on their meal instead of her.

"I suppose I shall have to find a better pesticide"

Her eyes slanted mischievously, causing Kureno to scoot away a little; Rude followed in suit when Reno returned the conniving expression. They were all in for one hell of a ride.


End file.
